A Congressman's Dream
Sometimes I have weird dreams. It’s not my fault. In one of my congressionally based dreams, I spotted former congressional staffer Rip Van Winkle sitting in the House barbershop getting a haircut, and, because of his eight inch beard, getting a much needed shave.
As the barber began clipping Rip’s hair, Rip asked the barber “you know… I have been in a self-induced coma for the past 20 years. Can you tell me what I’ve missed?” “Not a lot has been going on” replied the barber. “Has congress solved the unintended consequences of Dodd Frank on the community banks?” “No, not yet” replied the barber. “How about immigration? Do we have a national policy?” “Nope, not yet” replied the barber.
“Are the two sides working together to move important legislation?” … “Are democrats and republicans now committed to regular order?”… “Is the congressional approval rating above the teens?” “Ney, by no means” replied the barber.… “How about big money in politics? Has all that big money at least been removed??” Rip begged. “As you know” explained the barber “money is habit forming.”
“Well” said Rip, “don’t cut another hair from my head!” “But I’m not finished cutting your hair” the barber protested.
“That’s OK, I’m going back to sleep.”