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Congressman Emanuel Cleaver

Representing the 5th District of MISSOURI

Civility Message

Apr 8, 2016 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

A woman walked up to the supervising pharmacist in a major drug store and said, “You are the top guy here are you not?”

“Yes,” said the man, wearing a long white hospital looking coat.

“Well,” said the woman, “I need a big bottle of arsenic.”

Issues:
Mar 25, 2016 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

Mar 11, 2016 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

Sometimes I have weird dreams. It’s not my fault. In one of my congressionally based dreams, I spotted former congressional staffer Rip Van Winkle sitting in the House barbershop getting a haircut, and, because of his eight inch beard, getting a much needed shave.

Feb 26, 2016 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

Dec 21, 2015 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

Dec 11, 2015 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

Art Linkletter, host of the popular 1950’s and 1960’s television show, “People Are Funny”, used to say on his show, “Kids say the darndest things.” Linkletter died in 2010 at the age of 97. His statement regarding kids has become immortal because it was spot on.

Nov 10, 2015 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

Issues:
Oct 30, 2015 Civility Message

Dear Friends,

A veteran member of the US House, who had served as the chair of a powerful committee and had become a household name, died. Immediately after he took his last breath, he found himself at heaven's gates face-to-face with St. Peter.

Issues:

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